I was sitting in a high school classroom in the 10 th grade ... 15 years old ... rebellious ... bored ... and confused, when my name came over the loudspeaker in the room ... it was the principal, Mr. Murphy, calling me to come to his office. I knew where THAT was, because I knew him, and he knew me! When I sat down, Mr. Murphy proceeded to open a drawer in his desk, and he pulled out my large file ... He told me what I already knew ... "You are failing all of your subjects, with the exception of Industrial Arts or shop." It is now mid year, and you are going to fail your year ... Let me tell you why".

He then began to read from my file, those infamous reports that teachers do for a student's personal file and he began to read these things about me:
Has ability ... won't study
Could do the work ... but won't
No motivation ... lazy
Intelligent ... but won't apply himself
No purpose ... can't concentrate
Daydreams all the time

He then looked at me, waiting for a response. Mr. Murphy, I said, "What if I really try? Could I pass?" " Son," he said, as he looked at my grades, "you made 6 out of 100 on your last Latin test, 10 out of 100 on your last Math test, 15 out of 100 on your last French test. But, you ARE passing shop! Can you pass your year? You tell me! You decide!"

My Dad and Mother pastored Free Methodist churches in Ontario, Canada where I grew up. They were embarrassed by my behavior and totally frustrated, and they let me know that many times. My older brother, Bob, and my younger sister, Shirley, were both excellent students and were no problem at home. But, as I learned later, my Dad and Mother never gave up praying for me, or believing that I would be a Christian someday, and used of God to serve Christ somewhere in some way. But, they also knew I had to accept that salvation for myself, which I had not done. It was all around me, but not in me.

So, I got to work ... I started to bring books home from school ... I'd seen other good students do that! ... for the first time ever in my memory. My brother, Bob, two years older than I, always brought a stack of books and notebooks home every night, and had excellent grades to prove it. But, he had no fun in life either, I thought. In fact, he carried so many books home under his arm, for so many years, that according to the doctors, he developed curvature of the spine, which causes him problems to this day. On the other hand, my spine was as straight as a rod!

Anyway, at the end of that school year, I passed into the 11 th grade on probation with an overall average for all my subjects of 51 % on the Canadian system, where 50% was passing! But ... I still was spiritually lost and that summer was a tumultuous time at home, as I grew more and more sinful and rebellious.

Finally, on or around Friday, September 1, as I recall, my Dad took me aside, and let me have the news with both barrels, that Mother and he had talked and this was my last weekend of living at home. Because, as he said, "You are too big for me to handle and I don't know what to do with you." He went on to say, "I am going to commit you to the Bowmanville Reformatory for Boys, which was a few miles away, or at a Free Methodist boarding school called Lorne Park about an hour and a half away. Like Mr. Murphy, he said, "You decide!"

So, should I drink the hemlock or take the arsenic? What is the least painful? After a little time to think, I said, "If Lorne Park will take me, I'll go there". Dad jumped at that chance, and called the principal immediately, with me sitting there, and as I remember, the conversation went something like this: "Hello ... this is Rev. Robert Dargan, and I have a son who needs to come to Lorne Park . He has been failing all his subjects in school but one ... shop, and he is passing into the 11th grade on probation. He is rebellious, won't work, intelligent but lazy, and has good potential, but is wasting it. And, I can't handle him anymore. Will you take him?"

And, a man of God ... on the other end of the phone threw out an invisible life line of immeasurable love and hope to me ... someone he'd never met, and yet after hearing this description of me said with enthusiasm, "We'll take him! Bring him tomorrow! School starts Monday!”

So, I bought a $5 brown cardboard suitcase, which I still have, and loaded up all my worldly possessions in it and the next day my Dad and I drove to Lorne Park . I went to the office of the principal with my Dad, where Dad reiterated again with more details, the same stuff he had said the day before on the phone to the principal. The principal looked intently at me across his desk ... he was a young, enthusiastic, lively type of personality ... quick wit. … easy laugh ... genuine interest shown in people immediately, and had a true look of Christ's love showing for this troubled young teenager. He became my friend immediately.

Dad left me there with my brown cardboard suitcase and drove off. I have never felt so alone in all my life; I don't believe ... I never talked to Dad or Mother about what they felt. But ... how do YOU spell relief?

But ... into my life had stepped a new friend. He saw my potential with eyes of faith, when I couldn't see it for myself. He believed in me, when I didn't believe in me. He saw the Paul instead of the Saul. He said, "You can do it!" when I said "I couldn't". The word “can't” wasn't in his vocabulary. He told me I had leadership qualities and lot of other positive stuff, and said I could probably even be the president of my class if I wanted to. "You can do it!" he said. "You've got what it takes!"

Right then, I began to climb out of the pit I had dug for myself. And, then something else happened within a month of getting there ... the annual fall revival! I had not counted on that. It was there I was converted and made Christ my Savior and Lord, and like an eagle I began soaring upward with new found faith ... new found purpose .. new found hope, and my encourager, ... Dr. Leon Winslow, the principal, who showed me God's love, and His Spirit, and believed in me, encouraged me to stretch farther than I ever imagined I could. I did enjoy learning and excelling, and my grades improved dramatically, and I was elected president of my class and eventually the student body.

Leon is still my friend and encourager after 47 years. He has written to me, numerous letters, notes, cards, phone calls, handwritten notes scribbled on a church bulletin as he thought of me during a church service, and then would just fold the bulletin up and stick it in an envelope and mail it to me. During my doctoral studies, I got notes frequently from Leon , saying that he was so proud and thankful for me. "You can do it!", "Go for it!", "Do whatever it takes!" are things he would always say. He is my spiritual father and mentor, and I will always love him for it. He taught at Greenville College in Illinois for many years, and is retired there, and I still see him from time to time. And once in awhile, he will remind me with a twinkle in his eye and a hearty laugh, "Do you remember when we first met in my office at Lorne Park ... you and your Dad?" "Yes, I sure do ! But, let's not go there!"

Now, I try to remember something else too, as I try to remember from where I came, and put an arm around a teenager, and tell them that God is able to go with them through this junk filled world. Or, pray with a person who is struggling, or look past the eyes of confusion and frustration and see if I can see through God's eyes, a person inside who is really like soft clay, just waiting to be molded by God through someone like you and me who is committed to Christ, and who is pouring their lives and skills into someone else, so they can help shape them to be the person that God intended them to be. Maybe they can't do that without my help or your help and encouragement.

Now, here is my question for you ... If you had been a parishioner in my Dad's church during my teenage years, could you have envisioned or believed any of the future for me like I have had? Probably not! Probably no one in my Dad's churches saw me for my potential, but only as a prayer request for a wayward preacher's kid, and no doubt some didn't even believe their own prayers that they dutifully prayed, for their pastor who had "this problem boy!" Could there be some kid in this church that is going through these same struggles that we need to discover and try to understand?

All I have accomplished or that has happened to me is due to Christ, and His leading in my life, since that time of commitment, the prayers of my Dad and Mom, and godly grandparents. And also, due to a spiritually sensitive man of God, who intersected my life at a very crucial time and gave me hope, and a belief that God made me for something special, and he would walk with me, and help me find it!!

As well, for over 41 years now, I have been married to Margaret, who has been so patient with me, and has continued to teach me so much about walking with Christ, since she gave her life to Christ at 5 years old! We also have 2 wonderful Christian daughters, and sons-in-law, and 7 grandchildren. Also for over 35 of those years now, I have been involved in Christian higher education, because I am called to that, and believe strongly in it. I am a product of it! And, I have been and am in the business of encouraging people in many ways, and minister to scores of people across this country that need to be encouraged and shown Christ's love. I am a blessed man!

In closing, let me give you some thoughts I live by, and that you can live by too. I tell myself, and you can tell yourself that because of Christ...

Never again:
Think of yourself as alone ... For I am with you.
Think of yourself as defenseless … For I am your Protector.
Think of yourself as inadequate … For I am your Provider.
Think of yourself as useless … For I have a purpose for you.
Think of yourself as hopeless … For I am your future.
Think of yourself as unacceptable ... For I love you very much.
Think of yourself as nothing ... For I have created you in my image, and I have given you my Son to be your salvation and to spend eternity with me.

Thank: God for His Word ... His Power. .. His People ... and His Plan of Salvation that included me!!

Jay Dargan
Oct. 17, 2004